Great Moustaches of History: Sir Mark Twain

Gentlemen, today we acknowledge the finest literary moustache ‘Murica has ever produced, Sir Mark Twain, a.k.a. Sir Samuel Langhorne Clemens.

“I good moustache” - Mark Twain.

Twain is perhaps the most quoted moustache in history. As a lexical craftsman, Twain wields an axe of wisdom, striking pithy blows in the shape of revelationary epigrams. As a moustache, Twain simply rocks.

Most history books list 1917 as the year that the US and Germany first went to war. However, this is not true. 43 years earlier, the two great nations squared off in the infamous Twain/Nietzsche Walrus War that raged silently on opposite sides the Atlantic until Nietzsche's death in 1900.

'Murica 3, Germany 0. 

Gentlemen, Sir Mark Twain...

Day 25: How can I mo-netize this thing?

Day 24: Machis-mo

Day 23: Al-mo-st done!

Day 22: Mo-numental

Great Moustaches of History: Sir Freddie Mercury

Gentlemen, we're 3 weeks deep. You've made it past pre-pubescence, passed the porn star point, and are now proudly parading toward upper-pucker perfection. Enjoy these final days of Movember, and try not to drown in the social and romantic opportunities that are now raining upon you. 

Today, as we do some days, as we should have done the other day but didn't because maybe we had too many drinks and didn't get time to do it but now we're really sorry about not doing it, we honour another great moustache of history. Today we salute our first musical moustache. A moustache of great flamboyance. A moustache responsible for more number-one singles than any other moustache. Yes, today's great moustache belongs to none other than Sir Freddie Mercury. 

There is not an adjective in English that could suitably flatter this man of immense talent and immense moustache, so we shall end this short bio here with a fitting quote:

"I don't like it when people compare Freddie Mercury to God. I mean, he's pretty good, but he's not Freddie Mercury" - The Internet

Gentlemen, Sir Freddie Mercury...

Day 21: Mo-zzarella!